Saturday, February 21, 2009
Hey
Try'na decide Try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta
Gonna be late
Gonna be late
But, all my girls don't have to wait 'cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
Hey
Gotta be strong gotta be strong but
Im Really hurtin now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin' you
Im'a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on('cause I missed you, 'cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on(said I missed you ... baby)
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on
a while back when i heard this song, (disclaimer- shontelle, t-shirt) i was already addicted to it. but later as i continuously played it to get the lyrics right. (alright i'm odd in the sense i prefer to listen and learn the words rather than look it up on the net. heh.) it hit me, this is the person i've become.
i've never been in a serious relationship. never thought of a relationship meaning more than just because. i mean sure, you like the person, if they reciprocate, you get together and start a relationship. but i think despite it all, i've never really FELT the future. and now i feel trapped.
i'd become the very person i despised. the one who has become semi-dependent on someone else. yes, he's my boyfriend and yes, we've been together for quite awhile. but it strikes me that i have dreams that i want to go after but i don't think i want him there while i'm doing it? how could i tell him something that... selfish? at this point i feel ashamed. because. i dont really know what to do and how to break it to him.
Try'na decide Try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta
Gonna be late
Gonna be late
But, all my girls don't have to wait 'cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
Hey
Gotta be strong gotta be strong but
Im Really hurtin now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin' you
Im'a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on('cause I missed you, 'cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on(said I missed you ... baby)
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you
Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your t-shirt on
a while back when i heard this song, (disclaimer- shontelle, t-shirt) i was already addicted to it. but later as i continuously played it to get the lyrics right. (alright i'm odd in the sense i prefer to listen and learn the words rather than look it up on the net. heh.) it hit me, this is the person i've become.
i've never been in a serious relationship. never thought of a relationship meaning more than just because. i mean sure, you like the person, if they reciprocate, you get together and start a relationship. but i think despite it all, i've never really FELT the future. and now i feel trapped.
i'd become the very person i despised. the one who has become semi-dependent on someone else. yes, he's my boyfriend and yes, we've been together for quite awhile. but it strikes me that i have dreams that i want to go after but i don't think i want him there while i'm doing it? how could i tell him something that... selfish? at this point i feel ashamed. because. i dont really know what to do and how to break it to him.
what we could have been, 9:25 pm.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
this is a happy belated birthday post to my february baby friends. (whose birthdays coincidentally fall within the same week and the same year. humph, go figure.)
13th - Jonathan
14th - Debs
17th - Jeremy
19th - Dax
on another note i realized the JDJD thing there. hahaa. i'm having giggle fits -my parents must think i'm insane now. le sigh.
anyways. TRAVIS JONATHAN McGREGOR I LOVE YOU. seriously. honestly. truly i love you.
13th - Jonathan
14th - Debs
17th - Jeremy
19th - Dax
on another note i realized the JDJD thing there. hahaa. i'm having giggle fits -my parents must think i'm insane now. le sigh.
anyways. TRAVIS JONATHAN McGREGOR I LOVE YOU. seriously. honestly. truly i love you.
what we could have been, 10:53 pm.
ya know. it only takes one kind, no SIMPLEST, act to make someone's day feel better. and i feel just like that. its the whole passing it forward theory. or karma. heh.
but anyways. it makes me feel happy enough that i think i can go through today's class without having the need to just run home and cry.
on another note, i reallyreallyreally miss PP. it sucks that i cant really see him that much anymore. and even less in the future. PP, if you see this, i love you and i'm sorry about that stupid argument.
but anyways. it makes me feel happy enough that i think i can go through today's class without having the need to just run home and cry.
on another note, i reallyreallyreally miss PP. it sucks that i cant really see him that much anymore. and even less in the future. PP, if you see this, i love you and i'm sorry about that stupid argument.
what we could have been, 2:04 pm.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
valentine's day.
the day where being single/alone is so NOT okay despite anything that people tell you.
i've got oodles of people telling me that it's totally fine being single(or not being able to spend it with bf/gf) on V-day and it shouldnt harm me either. but to commiserate, those who are 'fine' with it tend to have a little SOMEBODY behind the picture or are equally miserable and are looking for a buddy to ignore it. but then again, v-day's one of the most expensive yet disappointing days of the year.
upon reading this, i sound terribly cynical. but its the plain truth.
the day where being single/alone is so NOT okay despite anything that people tell you.
i've got oodles of people telling me that it's totally fine being single(or not being able to spend it with bf/gf) on V-day and it shouldnt harm me either. but to commiserate, those who are 'fine' with it tend to have a little SOMEBODY behind the picture or are equally miserable and are looking for a buddy to ignore it. but then again, v-day's one of the most expensive yet disappointing days of the year.
upon reading this, i sound terribly cynical. but its the plain truth.
what we could have been, 10:42 pm.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
“Your glass is always half-full, huh?”
“No, but I always do my best to refill.”
-Ladya C. Maxine
oh, Ata, how i love his nonsensical ramblings. -sigh- you know, i've never been the sort who can think up witty retorts and all but how i LOVE hearing and reading them. its like a refreshing breath of fresh air.
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. You passed it miles back."
"A friend bails you out of jail. A best friend sits next to you and says; 'That was fun!'"
Feminists says that men and females are worth the same. And then they call men pigs..."
well.. the three up there are by unknowns. coz i got them off a website and its says its unknown. so yeah.
"Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible! But that is called cannibalism, dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka aka Johnny Depp, in Charlie and The Chocolate Factury. (one of my favourite movies for obvious reasons!)
"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man, you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you have to look out for, because you never know when they will go and do something completely...stupid." Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of The Caribbean
“No, but I always do my best to refill.”
-Ladya C. Maxine
oh, Ata, how i love his nonsensical ramblings. -sigh- you know, i've never been the sort who can think up witty retorts and all but how i LOVE hearing and reading them. its like a refreshing breath of fresh air.
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. You passed it miles back."
"A friend bails you out of jail. A best friend sits next to you and says; 'That was fun!'"
Feminists says that men and females are worth the same. And then they call men pigs..."
well.. the three up there are by unknowns. coz i got them off a website and its says its unknown. so yeah.
"Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible! But that is called cannibalism, dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka aka Johnny Depp, in Charlie and The Chocolate Factury. (one of my favourite movies for obvious reasons!)
"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man, you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you have to look out for, because you never know when they will go and do something completely...stupid." Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of The Caribbean
what we could have been, 8:21 pm.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
i think that wild, crazy taxi rides define michie's and my friendship. we get so hyped up. and talkative.
went down to pasir ris farmway blablabla to see the big pet shop. and the stupidass driver kinda bluffed us and took us to the other end of the super long road. and blur me and mich didnt know. and the stupid driver had the gall to drop us off in the bloody rain despite mich telling him to drop us at the shelter. -.-
bloody hell. the people working there are so unfriendly and unhelpful. we walked down about less than 1/3 of the road to see like 4 pet shops before giving up and cabbing back. only 1 out of the 4 had the dog that michie wanted but NONE had the puppy i wanted. =(
had dinner at parkway, i was DRENCHED. and michie's slippers were squelching but i think we were seriously on a good high despite my lousy class today -which makes me feel depressed thinking about it now.
i hate my class. sigh.
went down to pasir ris farmway blablabla to see the big pet shop. and the stupidass driver kinda bluffed us and took us to the other end of the super long road. and blur me and mich didnt know. and the stupid driver had the gall to drop us off in the bloody rain despite mich telling him to drop us at the shelter. -.-
bloody hell. the people working there are so unfriendly and unhelpful. we walked down about less than 1/3 of the road to see like 4 pet shops before giving up and cabbing back. only 1 out of the 4 had the dog that michie wanted but NONE had the puppy i wanted. =(
had dinner at parkway, i was DRENCHED. and michie's slippers were squelching but i think we were seriously on a good high despite my lousy class today -which makes me feel depressed thinking about it now.
i hate my class. sigh.
what we could have been, 10:56 pm.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
michelle is such a bimbo most of the time.
and i am suffering from an all-high PMT mode.
puberty sucks.
no arguments there.
and i am suffering from an all-high PMT mode.
puberty sucks.
no arguments there.
what we could have been, 11:18 pm.
Monday, February 09, 2009
The white man said, "Coloured people aren't allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was Black, when I grew up I was Black, when I'm sick I'm Black,when I go in the sun I'm Black, when I'm cold I'm Black and when I die I will be Black.
But you sir, when you're born you're Pink, when you grow up you where White, when you're sick you're Green, when you're in the sun you're Red, when you're cold you're Blue, and when you die you will be Purple. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?"
The black man turned around and sat down, and the white man walked away...
sometimes we come cross things that could be socially awkward to mention yet it can brighten up someone's mood/day. for me, color has always been an issue because i'm half-half. it hurts when you're 8 and your best friend won't play with you because you're 'black'. it hurts when you're fifteen and your same-colored 'friends' talk in the language you never got a chance to learn.
racism is rampant. most people dont realise it but when the US presidential election was going on, most newspapers took on a stance of obama the 'black' guy. but he's not really. in a way he's like me. half-half. two different colors but nearly everyone sees the physical one.
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was Black, when I grew up I was Black, when I'm sick I'm Black,when I go in the sun I'm Black, when I'm cold I'm Black and when I die I will be Black.
But you sir, when you're born you're Pink, when you grow up you where White, when you're sick you're Green, when you're in the sun you're Red, when you're cold you're Blue, and when you die you will be Purple. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?"
The black man turned around and sat down, and the white man walked away...
sometimes we come cross things that could be socially awkward to mention yet it can brighten up someone's mood/day. for me, color has always been an issue because i'm half-half. it hurts when you're 8 and your best friend won't play with you because you're 'black'. it hurts when you're fifteen and your same-colored 'friends' talk in the language you never got a chance to learn.
racism is rampant. most people dont realise it but when the US presidential election was going on, most newspapers took on a stance of obama the 'black' guy. but he's not really. in a way he's like me. half-half. two different colors but nearly everyone sees the physical one.
what we could have been, 10:28 pm.
Friday, February 06, 2009
i think i've got a lot to rant and rave to make up for not blogging the past few days. so getting on to it.
i was on my favourite GURL website when i came across this comic. it's kinda on the old side but considering that rachel nabors is my fave webcomic authoress there, i made it a point to read EVERY SINGLE ONE of her comics -including the ones i skipped previously. and lo and behold, i came across this - http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,605672_714667-2,00.html
read this comic and then you can continue on the next following sites.
1. http://crowhen.livejournal.com/100877.html
2. http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2007/12/16/the-internet-nice-guy-rears-his-ugly-head-once-more/
and the GRAND FINALE.
3. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
and for those who just want the short version. the no. 3 link was anonymously posted by 'A Recovering Nice Guy' who was 'taken advantage of' by what he deems an undeserving female.
lemme quote parts of his letter to the 'bitch' who hurt him and changed him into a 'not-so-nice guy'. btw, i'm not attacking guys. this applies to girls too. we've all been something like this before. but we're human, we make mistakes.
(p.s. the guy's stuff will be in italics)
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
like WTFFF man. what did we women do to you?
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.
oh yeah. i'm sure most girls would have come across this 'nice guy' before. btw what NORMAL guy would follow a girl shopping? even my dear bf doesnt follow me. he sits outside and waits, rather impatiently, but he's not perverted or clingy enough to follow me around the shop. that's just FUR-REAKY. also, which female would run to 'nice guy' first when she's got plenty of female friends who would have gone through the same issues, wont they offer better support and understanding?
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. hey probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.
i have a vague idea that EVERYONE laughed because they knew you were borderline obssessive. probably feared for said female's life. by the way, i think we would have treated a puppy dog with a lot more loving than you, 'nice guy'.
Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
oh, i'm sorry. did it hurt that i want a boyfriend like Brad Pitt/Leo/George Clooney/Chase Crawford and has enough money to keep my great-great-great-great-grandkids swimming in money that they won't have to work until they die?
So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”
OMG. he cant even spell. its DOUCHEBAG, not DOUCHE BAGS. but you're a WIND BAG i confess. what happened to nice guys? THEY GOT MARRIED. duh. that kind of man is worth his weight in gold and i doubt they stay single that long despite being dateless in high school.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.
-random guy sits and listen to my woes-
me (feeling better): thanks for listening to me! i feel so bad, there must be some way to repay you. -thinks-
me: i know! let me give you a BJ~! it'll be the most mindblowing exp you'll ever have!
LIKE HELLO?!?!! for being MY friend, i have to pay back in kind? even the barter system was better than this. if you wanted physical attention, find a ho, give her 30 bucks and she'd make you the happiest man alive. wtff is this? if that were the case, i'd have a line of females awaiting payment. good golly miss molly!
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
GOOD LORD. if i were five years younger, i'd be twelve/thirteen. I'M JAILBAIT YOU SICK PERVE.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now. Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
what the.... fucked myself over? i'd give myself a pat on the back and say 'NICE SAVE, LAURA'. who'd want to get saddled with a saddo like 'nice guy'? i'm pretty capable of making my opinions clear which obviously 'nice guy' could not which is why you're still a loser while the rest of the world has moved on.
p.s. i know this is like from 2007 but i just read it and i felt totally annoyed and disgusted with this guy's behavior. so i just had to say my share.
i was on my favourite GURL website when i came across this comic. it's kinda on the old side but considering that rachel nabors is my fave webcomic authoress there, i made it a point to read EVERY SINGLE ONE of her comics -including the ones i skipped previously. and lo and behold, i came across this - http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,605672_714667-2,00.html
read this comic and then you can continue on the next following sites.
1. http://crowhen.livejournal.com/100877.html
2. http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2007/12/16/the-internet-nice-guy-rears-his-ugly-head-once-more/
and the GRAND FINALE.
3. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
and for those who just want the short version. the no. 3 link was anonymously posted by 'A Recovering Nice Guy' who was 'taken advantage of' by what he deems an undeserving female.
lemme quote parts of his letter to the 'bitch' who hurt him and changed him into a 'not-so-nice guy'. btw, i'm not attacking guys. this applies to girls too. we've all been something like this before. but we're human, we make mistakes.
(p.s. the guy's stuff will be in italics)
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
like WTFFF man. what did we women do to you?
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.
oh yeah. i'm sure most girls would have come across this 'nice guy' before. btw what NORMAL guy would follow a girl shopping? even my dear bf doesnt follow me. he sits outside and waits, rather impatiently, but he's not perverted or clingy enough to follow me around the shop. that's just FUR-REAKY. also, which female would run to 'nice guy' first when she's got plenty of female friends who would have gone through the same issues, wont they offer better support and understanding?
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. hey probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.
i have a vague idea that EVERYONE laughed because they knew you were borderline obssessive. probably feared for said female's life. by the way, i think we would have treated a puppy dog with a lot more loving than you, 'nice guy'.
Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
oh, i'm sorry. did it hurt that i want a boyfriend like Brad Pitt/Leo/George Clooney/Chase Crawford and has enough money to keep my great-great-great-great-grandkids swimming in money that they won't have to work until they die?
So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”
OMG. he cant even spell. its DOUCHEBAG, not DOUCHE BAGS. but you're a WIND BAG i confess. what happened to nice guys? THEY GOT MARRIED. duh. that kind of man is worth his weight in gold and i doubt they stay single that long despite being dateless in high school.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.
-random guy sits and listen to my woes-
me (feeling better): thanks for listening to me! i feel so bad, there must be some way to repay you. -thinks-
me: i know! let me give you a BJ~! it'll be the most mindblowing exp you'll ever have!
LIKE HELLO?!?!! for being MY friend, i have to pay back in kind? even the barter system was better than this. if you wanted physical attention, find a ho, give her 30 bucks and she'd make you the happiest man alive. wtff is this? if that were the case, i'd have a line of females awaiting payment. good golly miss molly!
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
GOOD LORD. if i were five years younger, i'd be twelve/thirteen. I'M JAILBAIT YOU SICK PERVE.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now. Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
what the.... fucked myself over? i'd give myself a pat on the back and say 'NICE SAVE, LAURA'. who'd want to get saddled with a saddo like 'nice guy'? i'm pretty capable of making my opinions clear which obviously 'nice guy' could not which is why you're still a loser while the rest of the world has moved on.
p.s. i know this is like from 2007 but i just read it and i felt totally annoyed and disgusted with this guy's behavior. so i just had to say my share.
what we could have been, 10:18 pm.
